
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Peed by a bunch of dinosaurs

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Thursday, July 26, 2007
We are on the edge
We are at the end of July...which means that we are more or less four months away from our finishing line. By finishing line I mean the end of going to attend classes.
I started thinking about all the things we lived together, and I cannot avoid being too much sentimental about it.
I think that we were one thing when we started, and thank God we all grew up side by side by in different ways.
In some way I feel the same sad feeling I used to feel when I was in my last year of secondary school. I feel that we are all going to take separate ways, and I know for sure that one of my best friends will move to other province. My other best friend doesn't live near my house. Which are the possibilities of working in the same place?
These holiday days are beautiful, and I'm enjoying them, but I miss my friends. I don't like the idea of not seeing them every day for five hours.
I've resigned my job, and this housewife life never was meant for me. I already stated that I'm not a desperate housewife. I'm a mother, a wife, a friend, a student, a teacher, a daughter, a sister, a sister-in-law... I have so many titles, I don't need the housewife one.
Nowadays I spend my days working on a project in my computer and visiting my mother and a friend. My only duties at home are limited to washing clothes and cooking from Monday to Friday (on weekends I have to rest, and my husband cooks)
I'm excited about the idea of finally having my degree. I'll accomplish my goal of being a teacher before my 30's, but I won't have my Lola Mora's life anymore. My down-to-earth place. My stressful release valve for stress. My everyday easy smile.
I'll miss everything. My friends, my classmates, the hurry of deadlines, the knowledge built-up, the English speaking discussions, Gabriel's greetings, my teachers teaching beyond their subjects...
Even if I have to sit for exams to get my degree, I won't be attending classes anymore. I won't be seeing the warm people everyday. We won't be the close, friendly, and hardworking group we are now.
I know I have to work on hat idea on my own, and maybe I'm the only one among my classmates with these worries, but I tend to attach my heart to the people I'm with. I'll work it out in some way, I know I will, but it's not going to be easy. I hope its easier for the rest of you.
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Saturday, July 21, 2007
My new glasses
I was just reading what I wrote in my last entry and I'm quite amazed. On Friday I talked about the possibility of having my glasses broken... and you know what?...I don't have them anymore. What's more, I had to spend one week...seven full and complete days without glasses.
When I went to the doctor the news were not that good, because at first sight I couldn't see the full range of letters that he asked me to read. He ordered a set of studies which results came in a hurry to say that I was blinder than expected. My myopia raised as well as my astigmatism, plus my pupils are so weak that I have to take some tissue regenerative pills for two months.
My deep sadness only lasted that week in which I couldn't see. Now I only maintain my worries. I hope my eyes don't get worse any time soon.
I asked my doctor about surgery and his answer was: "You need a great deal of time, because there are a lot of studies we have to make in order to know if your eyes allow surgery. Not everyone is suitable for such procedure"
I said: "OK, thank you...it's not a proper moment....bye"
Now that I have my super trooper glasses with all kinds of filters to protect my weak eyes, I should take advantage of them, at least until I finish paying the installments, don't you think? They are beautiful, and according to my sister Chez, they allow people to see my eyes because of the anti-reflex system.
It's not that my eyes are sooooo beautiful to see...but a change is a change. I thought I would change my physical appearance in some way... and I did. I have new glasses now. I see better. I'm more confident when driving my van. I don't suffer my well-known migraines. At least I haven't suffer from that unbearable pain after my eyes got accustomed to the new gradation.
I have new glasses...
Now I have to think about other possibilities to change and go on with this stream of innovations.
I have new glasses....
I'm happy I will see better now.
The only problem I still have is that if you see me in the street and I don't greet you...it's not that I cannot see you...it's just that I'm almost all the time flying with my mind, and I don't pay attention to anything.
I don't know if I can change that...I'll try
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Friday, July 06, 2007
Sudden changes, new beginnings
I'm one of those persons who once a year (at least) needs to change her look. But doing it has always meant a break in my routine, a new beginning.
In general terms, I'm quite different to the general attitude of people. My year doesn't begin on January, 1st, but on December, 22nd. Why? Because my birthday is on December 21st. For these last years I started to feel that MY personal year starts that day, but since I don't like routines, I try to change something in my personal appearance some months before that.
For the last ten years my appearance has changed in two ways: size and haircut. The former since I got pregnant, the latter by choice.
Cutting hair is the easiest way of every person to change personal image. In my case, it's loosing some important part of me, as if I were actually cutting the bad aspects of the previous year. Yes, as you may already have understood...I go to the hairdresser's ONLY once a year. It takes me a lot of effort to decide going there. Of course, many reasons justify this. It's my only possibility of leaving behind my dark moments. It's quite difficult to define myself in terms of what do I want from a haircut. It's almost an impossible deed to find someone in whom I can fully trust the appearance I will have for the following three hundred and sixty five days.
This year I'm beyond that. I've been thinking about going to ask someone to change my image for the last three months, but I always have an excuse for not doing it. Mainly related with money. For the time being, I'm waiting for my husband to go to a doctor to discover if I need more gradation in my glasses, because after ten years of having the same glasses which are obviously part of me...I'm changing them.
It's not that I'm abandoning this faithful and loyal companions of the biggest moments of my life. I'm just evolutioning. I'm growing up, and I'm considering the possibility of having a glass broken due to the fragility of the system that holds it.
I can't believe it yet, and I won't until I have them in my hands, or better, in front of my eyes.
I'm preparing myself for such a challenge. What worries me now is what the doctor would say about my myopia. I hope is not as bad as I think, and my reddish eyes are only due to my hours in front of my computer.
I'm changing my image, as I've already changed my attitude towards life. My change of status, maybe by the end of this year, undoubtedly demands a new beginning.
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Sunday, July 01, 2007
Sunflower fields forever
The most vivid memory I have from my summer trips to Mar del Plata when I was a child, is the image of sunflower fields by the route.
I remember I used to look at them in amazement, not because the flowers themselves were beautiful, but for the shining bright yellow carpet that they could create. By looking at them from a certain distance, I could imagine myself walking in bare feet and being caressed by that golden velvet surface.
The last time I went to the coast I wouldn’t have imagined being away from there for so many years, and coming back was much more significant than what I expected
Last January, I went back to Mar del Plata again with my parents after thirteen years, and it was really moving in several ways.
First, the last time I went, I was a daughter who travelled with her parents and younger brother. This time, I arrived there as a proud mother of a six-year-old boy, with my parents, my son and my husband.

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