When Hyde took possession

I was talking with Chez last Friday, and I couldn't recall more than two outbursts of my Hyde's side... in my life.
I'm still searching on my mind, trying to find something more, but I cannot say I remember anything else. What surprises me more, is that both of them are within the last six years, and with the same person involved...my husband.
The first one, was on the early stages of my anxiety disorders. I was all the time waiting for something bad to happen, either to me or to any member of my family.
My husband used to go to university after work. I knew he was supposed to come back at 9:00 p.m., and every day I was waiting for him sitting by the door at THAT exact time.
Almost by the end of August, after a long and difficult period, everything changed. It was a cold night, and minutes started running faster than usual.
9:01...He was not at home as I expected... 9:05... I started worrying...9:10...I called him to his cell phone and he didn't answered...9:12...I called one of his classmates, and he told me that my husband went home two hours before...9:14...my mind started thinking that something bad had happened to him...9:16...I started crying...9:17...I changed my clothes, and my son's...9:22...I was standing behind the door, with my baby in my arms and a sweater for each of us by my side...9:24...my mind wouldn't stop, I was constantly thinking... the police is coming to say he is dead...9:26...I would have to deal with everything by myself; What am I going to do with a baby and no job?...9:27...How he dared to die?...9:28...I will never forgive him if he is dead...9:29...He cannot be dead, I would have to recognize his body, he cannot be dead, please God don't make me suffer anymore...
9:30...He finally arrived...Hi honey! I'm home! What are you doing here, where are we going? Why are you with that face?.
"What has happened to you", I said.
"I went to have some drinks with my classmates", he answered.
I put my son on his crib, started crying hysterically, I could only say "you don't love me even a little", "Why didn't you call?; Why didn't you tell me you where arriving late?"...after that, I opened the front door, and started running as a mad person.
I just wanted to run, I didn't care where. I just wanted to run to free myself from this eagerness to kill him, for not having any type of consideration.
After a few blocks, he arrived and I felt that by killing him I would lose my son also, and my legs stopped responding. I fell to the ground, heart broken, crying as if he was actually dead. I couldn't walk and I cannot remember the way back home. The next thing I remember is that I entered my house, I looked at my son on his crib, and everything went black while I was going to my bed.
None of us talked about it until the next day.
The other time in which my Hyde appeared, is not worth mention the whole episode, because one out of two people involved, could have spent at least one night in jail. I will only say that showing my Hyde was the best thing I could have done to defend myself.
It's not easy to accept when your dark side is stronger than the good one, but I cannot decide yet if it is that bad to react, from time to time. After all, whatever we do not express, makes our imaginary bags heavier, and more difficult to carry.