Not knowing how to write something is workable, but not having anything to say...could become your worst enemy.
Sometimes we feel that a blank page is threatening us because we don't know how to start writing, but in the end, thoughts start flowing from "somewhere" and we can only feel the satisfaction of having said what we wanted to say. The problem comes when we cannot find ourselves writing about anything, either because we are not accustomed to, or just because we have never been good at writing even in our native language.
In my case, writing is not an every day thing, but a stream of inspiration that strikes me from time to time. For example, my last birthday was memorable, because I was like sailing through the sky (I still don't know why, because I became one year older and I find it reeeeealy depressing) and I truly wanted to share my thoughts with the world. I recalled what my mother told me about the day I was born, where my father was, and how I was feeling when I looked back to the life I've lived so far.
When giving a moment of reflection to the reason why I don't write every day, I have to recognize that sometimes I don't write, just because of lazyness, and I've discovered that writing is the only thing I don't do due to that reason.
Writing a journal can be helpful at times, but it can also become a routine, and that's why when all of my friends had their beautiful Barbie journals, with a special lock to keep away nosy brothers...I always prefered to read a book or do whatever I wanted, without thinking that at the end of the day I would have to write it down in paper. Besides, my mother was so obsessed with having "perfect at school" children, that she used to make us (me and my brothers) write the same word many, many times (one word with a spelling mistake= one full page of repetitions) until we "internalized" the correct way, and at the end of the day I was tired enough to avoid, at any cost, having to touch a pencil or a blank page.
I really hope that one day, with my blog's help, I will be able to untie my thoughts completely, giving myself the chance to express everything I store in my heart and mind at a minimum cost... and more important, without having to go back to my therapist to seek help for my (now sporadic) anxiety attacks.
This is nice...I hope I can enjoy the ride
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Wednesday, April 4th, 2007
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1 comment:
Hey Pato! Good to see you could open the blog already! There's a part in this entry that you could maybe explore a bit more: your childhood memories. How about taking the writing-the-wrong-word-endless-times episode and expanding it into an autobiographical narrative? Keep up the good work!
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